Is Every Living Thing From Water?

S 21:30 Have those who have disbelieved not seen that the skies and the Earth were sewn-up and we cut them and made every living thing from water? So do they not believe?

There are two ways of understanding "water": in the sense of H2O or in the sense of semen. Either interpretation creates a problem regarding the notion of every living thing's being made from water. Man isn't a thing. How about the angels? The 'clear', 'detailed' Quran does not say only things on Earth. It may be argued that the author believed the Earth to be animate. Certainly he appears to have believed that the sun to be a conscious entity as well as stones.

S 33:72 We offered the trust to the skies and the Earth but they refused to bear it and feared it; but man bore it. He was unjust, ignorant.

Narrated Abu Dhar:

The Prophet (ﷺ) asked me at sunset, "Do you know where the sun goes (at the time of sunset)?" I replied, "Allah and His Apostle know better." He said, "It goes (i.e. travels) till it prostrates Itself underneath the Throne and takes the permission to rise again, and it is permitted and then (a time will come when) it will be about to prostrate itself but its prostration will not be accepted, and it will ask permission to go on its course but it will not be permitted, but it will be ordered to return whence it has come and so it will rise in the west. And that is the interpretation of the Statement of Allah: "And the sun Runs its fixed course For a term (decreed). that is The Decree of (Allah) The Exalted in Might, The All- Knowing." (36.38)

https://sunnah.com/bukhari/59/10

Jabir b. Samura reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:

I recognise the stone in Mecca which used to pay me salutations before my advent as a Prophet and I recognise that even now.

https://sunnah.com/muslim/43/2

A beast may be considered a thing.

S 24:45 And Allah created every beast from water. Of them is he who walks on his belly and of them he who walks on two legs and of them he who walks on four. Allah creates what he wills. Allah is mighty over everything.

He who?

Allah's Forgotten Creatures

The Jalayn for this verse assumes "water" here to refer to semen.

And God has created every beast that is every animal from fluid from a sperm-drop. Among them are some that creep upon their bellies such as snakes and reptiles and among them are some that walk on two feet such as human beings and birds and among them are some that walk on four such as four-legged beasts and cattle. God creates whatever He will. Truly God has power over all things. https://www.altafsir.com/Tafasir.asp?tMadhNo=0&tTafsirNo=74&tSoraNo=24&tAyahNo=45&tDisplay=yes&UserProfile=0&LanguageId=2

Allah is supposedly alive and may be called a thing. From an article:

There can be no question that these hadiths describe Allah as an ahad and shay since this is precisely what the Quran says Allah is:

Say (O Muhammad): "What thing (shay-in) is the most great in witness?" Say: "Allah (the Most Great!) is Witness between me and you; this Qur'an has been revealed to me that I may therewith warn you and whomsoever it may reach. Can you verily bear witness that besides Allah there are other aliha (gods)?" Say "I bear no (such) witness!" Say: "But in truth He (Allah) is the only one Ilah (God). And truly I am innocent of what you join in worship with Him." S. 6:19 Hilali-Khan

And call not upon another god with God; there is no god but He. All things (shay-in) perish, except His Face. His is the Judgment, and unto Him you shall be returned. S. 28:88 Arberry

Does he think that no one (ahadun) has power over him? … Does he think that no one (ahadun) sees him? S. 90:5, 7 Shakir

Say: 'He is God, One (ahadun), S. 112:1 Arberry

In fact, in one of the headings for Sahih al-Bukhari we find the following admission:

XXI. "Say: 'What thing is greatest as a witness?' Say: 'Allah. '" (6:19)

Allah Almighty called Himself a thing, and the Prophet called the Qur'an a thing, and it is one of the attributes of Allah. He says, "All things are passing except His Face." (28:88) (Aish Bewley, 100. Book of Tawhid (the belief that Allah is One in His Essence, Attributes and Actions): *; bold emphasis ourss) Dr. Badawi Proves That Allah Exists As A Limited Physical Being

Did Allah start out as a blob of semen ejaculated by its sire?

Further reading:

There is No Thing Like Him?

Nothing Like Allah?