Allah's Chain

S 69:32 Then into a chain whose length is 70 cubits insert him.

The verse suggests that people would be inserted into a chain. Mufassirun aren't in agreement as to what is meant by the verse but some Muslims have opined that this chain is inserted into the man's backside.

The Tanwîr al-Miqbâs min Tafsîr Ibn ‘Abbâs:

(And then insert him in a chain) insert the chain in his anus and extract it from his mouth, and what remains of it turn it round his neck (whereof the length) and width (is seventy cubits) cubits of the angel; it is also said this means: 70 fathoms. https://www.altafsir.com/Tafasir.asp?tMadhNo=0&tTafsirNo=73&tSoraNo=69&tAyahNo=32&tDisplay=yes&UserProfile=0&LanguageId=2

Ibn Kathir:

ثُمَّ فِى سِلْسِلَةٍ ذَرْعُهَا سَبْعُونَ ذِرَاعاً فَاْسْلُكُوهُ

(Then fasten him on a chain whereof the length is seventy cubits!) Ka`b Al-Ahbar said, "Every ring of it will be equal to the entire amount of iron found in this world.'' Al-`Awfi reported that Ibn `Abbas and Ibn Jurayj both said, "Each cubit will be the forearm's length of an angel.'' Ibn Jurayj reported that Ibn `Abbas said,

فَاْسْلُكُوهُ

(Then fasten him) "It will be entered into his buttocks and pulled out of his mouth. Then they will be arranged on this (chain) just like locusts are arranged on a stick that is being roasted.'' Al-`Awfi reported from Ibn `Abbas that he said, "It will be ran into his behind until it is brought out of his two nostrils so he will not be able to stand on his two feet.'' Imam Ahmad recorded from `Abdullah bin `Amr that the Messenger of Allah said,

«لَوْ أَنَّ رَصَاصَةً مِثْلَ هذِهِ وأشار إلى جُمْجُمَةٍ أُرْسِلَتْ مِنَ السَّمَاءِ إِلَى الْأَرْضِ، وَهِيَ مَسِيرَةُ خَمْسِمِائَةِ سَنَةٍ، لَبَلَغَتِ الْأَرْضَ قَبْلَ اللَّيْلِ وَلَوْ أَنَّهَا أُرْسِلَتْ مِنْ رَأْسِ السِّلْسِلَةِ لَسَارَتْ أَرْبَعِينَ خَرِيفًا اللَّيْلَ وَالنَّهَارَ قَبْلَ أَنْ تَبْلُغَ قَعْرَهَا أَوْ أَصْلَهَا»

(If a drop of lead like this - and he pointed to a skull bone - were sent from the heaven to the earth, and it is a distance of five hundred years travel, it would reach the earth before night. And if it (the same drop of lead) were sent from the head of the chain (of Hell), it would travel forty fall seasons, night and day, before it would reach its (Hell's) cavity or base.) At-Tirmidhi also recorded this Hadith and he said, "This Hadith is Hasan.'' Ibn Al Kathir commentary for verses 69.25-37

In the Tanwîr al-Miqbâs min Tafsîr Ibn ‘Abbâs we read:

(And then insert him in a chain) insert the chain in his anus and extract it from his mouth, and what remains of it turn it round his neck (whereof the length) and width (is seventy cubits) cubits of the angel; it is also said this means: 70 fathoms. Altafsir.com -تفسير ايآت القرآن الكريم (73-0-32-69)

Why might Allah want to insert a chain up a man's backside? Is Allah gay?